How my Trauma became my Passion
As a few of you already know I’ve been sexual abused in my childhood for several years. Thereby this man locked me up in his house so I felt very unsafe. My relationship with sexuality and my physical body became unhealthy. So dissociation was a natural way for me to leave the present moment and not feel the pain and fear.
For years I thought that the way of being loved by another is to give your body away. That I needed to do everything for the other person to get Love. No boundaries at all. I sacrificed my whole body, didn’t had any respect for it.
4 years ago I met a new lover for the second time. We had a fling before when we were 18 years old. During our love making my whole body started to release suppressed emotions and trauma. In the beginning it scared me, because I never experienced this in my Life.
I went through re-experiences with flashbacks and my kundalini started to awaken. It was very intens and scary and still I wanted to leave my body. My partner always gave me a safe bedding to be with what was there in the moment. Breathing through it and embracing it all.
I call this Sacred Sex. A man healing a woman with his Lingam (penis)
At one moment I felt very deeply that I needed to go deeper inside myself to heal. Connect more with my Yoni and Womb. I didn’t felt the need for love making anymore. Wanted to be close with myself and my own body. Give her love and softness. Ask her what she needs from me.
My partner gave me all the space I needed in this proces of embracing myself fully. We talked a lot about it. Also about his needs and desires. Because he is just as important as me.
You walk this path together, not alone.
Later in my process I began to reclaim my Yoni as a powerful and sacred place that she is. Starting to work with different kinds of Yoni Eggs and receiving a lot of Yoni De Armouring sessions. More and more I became so fascinated by the Yoni and the Womb that I wanted to learn more about these cosmic beings. The Womb represents the Universe for me and the Yoni a Sacred temple. Both embody our Feminine Blue Print.
I started to work with Sacred Rituals, connecting with my blood, honoring my Moon Cycle. Give myself a Yoni massage and looking at my Yoni with a mirror. I never felt and experienced so much love for my Feminine Body. Learning more and more about the Yoni and started to give other women Yoni massages and De-Armouring sessions. So grateful for the trust they give me to make this journey with them.
The last months I cry a lot of gratitude. Forgiving myself that I gave myself away so many times in my life. My body is my temple and I will honor it always.
I wish for all women to love your unique body, to honor and respect
her as your Sacred Temple. The more embodied you are
the more you can feel your boundaries.